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Sunday, June 26, 2011

Dude, are you lost?

So there we are, sitting in our room, clicking away and minding our own business, when this tall, skinny dude sticks his head in the room. We think maybe he is on this project and is located in another room, but we don't really know. He could be a serial rapist for all we know. Upon seeing that the room was predominantly occupied by males, he apparently put those ambitions aside for a moment.

The derailing of his dreams of serial rape didn't stop him from waltzing right into the room like he owned it, though. This is a social faux pas even among contract attorneys -- you just don't go into a room if you aren't seated there or going to see a particular person. Tall Skinny Dude -- I really don't have a nickname for him yet -- greets one person in the room, but we are later informed that they met briefly in the kitchen once and that they are not actually acquainted. Besides, TSD didn't know that person was in the room. The whole thing was just weird.

So he marches deep into the room and starts strutting around and just running at the mouth: "Oh, you have an L-shaped room! And you have windows! And you have Jack! This is wonderful! But all of your chairs have arms."

So the truth came out. He was hoping to steal an armless chair. Not a good plan for long-term survival. A contract attorney has one thing, and one thing only: his chair. Fuck with my chair, fuck with death.

CA1: You came here to check out our chairs?

TSD: Yeah.

CA1: The last guy who tried that hasn't been seen since. It's not a threat, I'm just saying.

TSD: But you have it made here. You have an L-shaped room, and windows, and Jack.

CA1: Yeah, we're fucking temp partners here. Great to be us. We'll be fired several seconds after you. And I don't know Jack.

He then left, not sure if he had actually been threatened but clearly disappointed that we had no armless chairs. It never ceases to amaze me what will make people happy in TempTown. Personally, I think he was hoping to steal a bathroom key.

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