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Thursday, July 7, 2011

Blast from the past

A young lady whose name escapes me started on my new project today, but I have worked with her in the past, and seeing her reminded me of a guy who was on that project, and a story worth sharing (maybe). How was that for a sentence? In any event, I never cared about this guy enough to give him a nickname, but if I had, it would have been something like Douchey McDouchehead. We'll go with DMD for short, because I just realized that there is probably at least one more reference to him out there, as I was on another project with him later. Fortunately, he got cut from that one for being a douche, but we'll save that. Don't you love stream of consciousness?

So we're on this project, and DMD is a talker. Talking on projects is not bad, but a talker is. A talker never shuts up. At some point, this invites a privately imposed death sentence. Unfortunately, both the law and the agency's rules discourage imposing such a sentence, which means you have to simply turn up the volume on your headphones and hope that DMD at some point shuts the fuck up. Alas, talkers never do.

So DMD is holding forth about his Cajun heritage and how this makes him a great cook and how he loves French cooking and how one day he would love to go to France. This guy seems about as Cajun as the New York Yankees, but what the fuck do I know? Still, I finally feel compelled to do something to stop this train, so when he mentions his desire to go to France, I pounce.

DMD: I'm such a fucking loser that all I can think about is going to France one day (OK, I made up that quote because I can't remember what he actually said that made me chime in, but it was something like that. It was nearly a year ago -- sue me for not remembering.)

Me: Yeah, France is great, except it's full of French people.

DMD: I'm French.

Me: You're really not undermining my argument here.

OK, the the "France is full of French people" was a well-used cheap shot. All I have to say about that particular cheap shot is DMD jumped to another project about three days later. Cheap shots pay off.

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