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Sunday, July 24, 2011

Whose idea was this, anyway?

Got an email with some questions about contract attorneys, figured it was worth sharing the relevant portion and then addressing to the extent possible. The person wrote:
So who becomes a contract attorney and why?  What's the upside of the job? Downside?  If like most temp jobs it is really meant to be temporary, what do contract attorney's want to do instead? What was it like before the economy went to hell?  My guess is there aren't funny answers to these questions so might not be blog material.  Feel free to ignore. 
 Wow. Where to begin? First of all, being a contract attorney is NO ONE'S first choice. Sorry to shout like that, but, as the first post discusses, this is the bottom of the legal food chain. The only thing below contract attorneys on the legal food chain is excrement, which technically is not on the food chain, and it's not clear we are above that. So nobody really chooses this. In any event, at the risk of being not-funny, I will attempt to address these questions. Some of them are compound, so I object to the form and reserve the right to break them up as needed. This is going to be a long post. Get something to eat. And, more importantly, something to drink, preferably alcoholic.

So who becomes a contract attorney?

This is more complex than it sounds. There are some generalizations that are extraordinarily accurate, however. While accurate, they are definitely not politically correct and will probably not win me many friends. Any contract attorney who looks at things honestly, however, will recognize these general categories.

First of all, contract attorneys fall into two large categories: New law school graduates, and people with experience, sometimes extensive. The new grads came to Washington, usually, because they have a desire to Do Something, be it in the government or political realms, or because they believe that DC is part of The Big Time, and that if they can make it here, they can make it anywhere. Many of them are hoping to work for government or Congress. They have found that it is more difficult than they thought to get into these careers, however, and become contract attorneys to pay the bills. When there is work (and overtime) the money is good, after all.

Folks with experience are a much more complex group, especially these days. Big firms are laying people off left and right if they aren't going belly-up completely, like Howrey (which once was the second largest firm in the city.).  Lots of people who used to be in the upper echelons of the profession now find themselves in Temp Town. This skews some of the generalizations that used to apply almost universally, but not completely, because one of the generalizations accounted for folks like this. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

And why? 

OK, not ahead of myself anymore. Obviously, no one would choose to be at the bottom of the food chain (or, under the worst-case scenario described above, in the sewage system below the bottom of the food chain). So what explains why there are always people willing, however grudgingly, to be contract attorneys? I am going to suggest, at the risk of being found offensive, that there are categories of people who are more likely to wind up as contract attorneys. Not coincidentally, these categories tend to represent the unspoken prejudices of the big firms in town, which are of course, outside of government, the biggest employers of attorneys here. Despite much lip service toward "diversity," most big firms remain bound by their preference for grads of the Top 25 law schools. They satisfy their "diversity" requirements from that pool, not the folks that become contract attorneys. In any event, in no particular order, these are the categories:

1. Minorities.

2. Women.

3. Abnormally short men.

4. Abnormally obese of either gender.

5. Speaking of gender, openly gay individuals and transvestites.

6. People who went to shitty law schools or performed not particularly well at mid-level law schools.

7. Older people.

and the wildcard, which is in play more and more as firms continue to lay off people who thought they were on the big-firm tack:

8. Bad things happen to good people.

I am not endorsing these categories as the basis for discrimination. I am simply stating that contract attorneys seem to fit into these categories, by and large (there are always outliers. This isn't a science.) However, the more categories a person fits, the more likely he or she is to be a contract attorney. One usually is not enough. Three or more is a virtual guarantee, however, unless that person is bringing Google as a client. If that's the case, all bets are off. If you are a contract attorney who disagrees with me, look around you and tell me that the above categories are not overrepresented relative to the general law firm population. Yeah, thought so. How do you like me now?

What's the upside of the job?

In a word, money. If you can't get on with a big firm or the government, this is the easiest way to make good money in this town as a lawyer, at least as long as there is work with overtime. No overtime equals slow starvation. But the overtime situation is improving again, so we're back to money. It talks.

Downside? 

Having "contract attorney" or anything resembling that on your resume is the kiss of death for most real jobs. Oddly enough, the government is the major exception. Most folks, though, assume that your are a  contract attorney for a reason, as in you can't find a "real job" because of some major defect. I think that actually is usually not true (I concede it is true for a significant minority of contract attorneys, which is why we all get painted with that brush) but that's the way it is.

The other major downside, of course, is you have no idea whether you are working next week, or often even tomorrow. Will there be work? Will there be overtime? Will you be able to pay the mortgage? Who fucking knows? You sure don't.

What do contract attorney's want to do instead?

Many contract attorneys either have, or want to believe they have, their own practice. I would say most of those who say they have their own practice fall into the "want to believe" category. I know some folks who actually have more than one client, who rent temporary office space, have partners and probably will one day make it a going probposition but do contract work right now because they don't make enough from their own practice to pay the bills. These people spend a lot of time on the phone during projects, trying to keep their practice going and growing while also clicking enough to remain employed. It's a delicate balance.

Then there are those who say they have their own practice, but in reality have about one client a year and maximize the contract hours available because they don't actually have what it takes to strike out on their own. These people, basically, are delusional.

The last group is those of us who would like to do something else, doen't really want our own practice, but don't know where we're going from here. Maybe we're delusional, too, in believing that there might be somewhere else to go. In any event, we tend to be long-term at this shit. That either makes you bitter and cynical, or you start a blog. Beats me.

What was it like before the economy went to hell?

This used to be a good way to make a living. If a project didn't have 20 hours of overtime, you turned it down. You never sat home more than a couple days, at least if you were any good. (Yeah, I am. Suck on it.) There was always another 20-hour OT project coming down the pike. Mid-2008, all that changed. Good people started sitting home for six months at a time and more. Even when there was work, it was no overtime, and you would sit at home for a week, two, three before another project came up. Mid-2010, things started to improve, and the first half of this year was pretty good, with rates rising and more overtime available, but nobody has forgotten the fall, and we all are half-scared that 2008 will hit again. So I guess we miss the good old days, which actually weren't all that good, career-wise, but look good from here from a financial standpoint.

Maybe this is helpful in understanding how folks got here, maybe not. I guess it's not funny. Probably could have used a fart joke or two. Maybe next time.

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