Please, please, please let a bear come by here

My homeowners association has issued a "bear activity" warning that makes me want desperately for a bear to come by where I can shoot it on my property without going through the onerous licencing requirements that Maryland puts on anybody who wants to shoot something. Naturally, my homeowners' association is not thinking in terms of shooting bears. From their email:

LLA has received reports of bear activity in Pinehurst.  Please read the following information so that you can take preventive measures around your residence and become educated about bear safety.

• If faced with a bear, give it space and ensure it has an escape route, do not approach or allow it to be surrounded or cornered ─ much like you would a stray dog.

• Do not feed it, and remove any food sources. Trash, birdfeeders and grills often lure bears into residential areas. If a bear is reported in your region, be sure to store these items in a secure place like a garage or a shed.

• Scare bears away by making noise (e.g. shouting, banging pots and pans, using air horns or whistles, etc.).

Banging pots and pans? Seriously, people. Rule .303 applies here.

Rule .303, of course, refers to the caliber of the British Enfield rifle, one of which resides in my gun safe.