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Sunday, July 13, 2014

OK, I apologize to the sport of soccer

I know, I know, I shouldn't. Never back down, never give in, right? Well, when I called soccer the most boring sport in the world, I was wrong. Sure, it's pretty stupid, they have no idea how long they're going to play, they break ties by playing a completely different game and they never fucking score, just run up and down the field for days on end, it seems. But it is not the most boring sport in the world.

I walked into the kitchen here at work a few minutes ago, and on the TV at that moment was the new Official World's Most Boring Sport. That's right, there on the screen in all its full-color, big-screen, HD glory was the Tour de France. For a couple minutes, until I came to my senses, I watched a bunch of dudes in a huge bunch cycling through the French countryside -- from behind. Not from the front. Behind. No panning the camera across the beautiful French countryside. Just a bunch of butts. I hear that sometimes they show them from the side, and sometimes from the front, too. Great. Bunch of fucking guys out for a bike ride. Again, sorry, soccer -- boring as you are, the Tour de France (and I assume all those Tour de Wherever bike races) is worse.

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