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Sunday, December 14, 2014

I think this gives me a sweep of the Persian Gulf States

The last holdout of the Persian Gulf states, Qatar, has finally graced Eff You with its presence. Sure, Qatar (pronounced "cutter," apparently) is no Mongolia, which continues to treat Eff You as if Mongolia were the head cheerleader and Eff You were the pudgy freshman with really bad acne, but I digress. I'm sure Mongolia will realize that beauty is on the inside and, eventually, visit Eff You. Not that I have really bad acne, or am a freshman in anything, or anything like that. Look, can we move on?

So Qatar, a first-time visitor, is

"a sovereign Arab country located in Western Asia, occupying the small Qatar Peninsula on the northeastern coast of the Arabian Peninsula. Its sole land border is with Saudi Arabia to the south, with the rest of its territory surrounded by the Persian Gulf. A strait in the Persian Gulf separates Qatar from the nearby island kingdom of Bahrain. In 2013, Qatar's total population was 1.8 million; 278,000 Qatari citizens and 1.5 million expatriates.[9] Although tiny, Qatar wields significant clout due to its natural gas wealth and its sovereign wealth fund, which is one of the world's largest.
The world's richest country per capita, Qatar is up to its collective dick in oil and natural gas. And sand. The country was ruled by Bahrain for a while, then the Ottoman empire from 1871 to 1916, then was a British protectorate from 1916 to 1971, when it gained its independence. The capital, and pretty much only city worth the name, is Doha. The country is a monarchy, with no legislature, and political parties are forbidden.

Pretty much everybody in Qatar is Muslim, and the legal and social customs reflect a fundamentalist bent:
In practice, Qatar's legal system is a mixture of civil law and Islamic law.[49][50] Sharia law is the main source of Qatari legislation according to Qatar's Constitution.[16][17] Sharia law is applied to laws pertaining to family lawinheritance, and several criminal acts (including adultery, robbery and murder). In some cases in Sharia-based family courts, a female's testimony is worth half a man's and in some cases a female witness is not accepted at all.[51] Codified family law was introduced in 2006.
Flogging is used in Qatar as a punishment for alcohol consumption or illicit sexual relations.[52] Article 88 of Qatar's criminal code declares the punishment for adultery is 100 lashes.[53] Adultery is punishable by death when a Muslim woman and a non-Muslim man are involved.[53] In 2006, a Filipino woman was sentenced to 100 lashes for adultery.[53] In 2010, at least 18 people (mostly foreign nationals) were sentenced to flogging of between 40 and 100 lashes for offences related to “illicit sexual relations” or alcohol consumption.[54] In 2011, at least 21 people (mostly foreign nationals) were sentenced to floggings of between 30 and 100 lashes for offences related to “illicit sexual relations” or alcohol consumption.[55] In 2012, six expatriates were sentenced to floggings of either 40 or 100 lashes.[52] Only Muslims considered medically fit were liable to have such sentences carried out. It is unknown if the sentences were implemented.[56] More recently in April 2013, a Muslim expatriate was sentenced to 40 lashes for alcohol consumption.[57][58][59] In June 2014, a Muslim expatriate was sentenced to 40 lashes for consuming alcohol and driving under the influence.[60] Judicial corporal punishment is common in Qatar due to the Hanbali interpretation of Sharia Law.
Stoning is a legal punishment in Qatar.[61] Apostasy is a crime punishable by the death penalty in Qatar.[62] Blasphemy is punishable by up to seven years in prison and proselytizing can be punished by up to 10 years in prison.[62] Homosexuality is a crime punishable by the death penalty for Muslims
I know, sounds great. Toss in that Qatar has a history of supporting terrorist groups, and the warm and fuzzy feeling is complete.

Doha is, however, a beautiful modern city:


Plus, with money to burn, they like to build those funky manmade islands for exclusive housing developments and such:


So let's extend a big Eff You welcome to Qatar. Keep coming back, bring your friends, and hey guys, quit supporting terrorists, hmmmmmm?

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