Puerto Rico, come on down!

Maybe somebody was just looking for porn, maybe somebody is hoping to find a job as a contract attorney because the territory is in the fiscal toilet, maybe somebody just digs wolves. How would I know? But somebody from Puerto Rico checked in, the first visitor from the U.S. possession. That sounds so colonial, which is why I used it -- I hope it drives our progressive readers batshit. Actually, I doubt I have many progressive readers. I am aware of only one. But I digress.

Puerto Rico has dropped by, and now must receive the Eff You welcome it so richly deserves. So here it is:

[O][fficially the Commonwealth of Puerto Rico (Spanish: Estado Libre Asociado de Puerto Rico, literally the "Free Associated State of Puerto Rico"), is a United States territory located in the northeastern Caribbean. Puerto Rico is an archipelago that includes the main island of Puerto Rico and a number of smaller islands. The capital and largest city is San Juan. The territory does not observe daylight saving time, and its official languages are Spanish, which is predominant, and English.
Puerto Rico's rich history, warm tropical climate, diverse natural scenery, renowned traditional cuisine and attractive tax incentives make it a popular destination for tourists, academics, and business visitors. Because of its location in the Caribbean and history of colonization, Puerto Rico's culture is a melting pot of Taíno, Spanish, African and North American influences.

The island is tropical, the weather is nice, tourism is huge and hey have some nice old Spanish ruins. Plus the commonwealth is bankrupt. So anyway, welcome, don't bring your bankruptcy with you when you come to the US. Glad you came by. I guess. Frankly, I'm in favor of giving you the independence you so richly deserve.